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Hop to the Spring Chicken Merch Sale!

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We’re just surprised as you that it’s already spring again, but we’re celebrating anyway! Hippity hoppity on over to the It’s Spring Chicken Merch sale, going on now in our online merch store.

From now through Friday, April 9th, get 30% off of Behemoth merchandise using code BOKBOK at checkout! We’re chickens, and chicks are Easter-y, and you can stuff your Easter baskets with our stuff. Plus a spring sale is for like… the opposite of spring cleaning. Spring hoarding?

As you can see, this strange season is the perfect time to get your goods, for purposes of spring and chickens and eggs and Easter and our merch being on sale! Be sure to hop on over to the store before the deals are gone.

Agent Notes on Hominids: 14 Years of Alien Evolution

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February 28, 2007 2021
CONFIDENTIAL
FROM THE DESK OF AGENT A

14 YEARS OF ALIEN EVOLUTION

Today marks 14 years since the Alien Hominids first made their way to planet Earth… and what a long 14 years that has been.

While we were able to quell the beasts for some time, but now they seem to be resurging more than ever. Only this time, they’ve evolved into something that’s much more… extreme.
Alien Hominid HD to Invasion
Shape – These Aliens have grown more lithe, more funky, more deadly, and their physical form reflects it. Their bodies are smaller and their heads are rounder, meaning that they’re now the ideal shape to dodge our attacks and also probably store massive amounts of important information in their noggins.
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Movement – Movement is by far the most significant change that we’ve seen them take on. 14 years ago they would jump and run and dig, and now they’ll double-jump and run and dig all while moving… and then flip and dive and head-ride and dodge and throw us around like ragdolls.
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Weapons – When they advanced, so did their arsenal of weapons. The blaster was easy enough to defend against back in the day, even with its occasional upgrades. But now, we have to be prepared for any number of projectiles — lasers, energy bullets, even ice and sword swipes. Oh, and their upgrades are much more technical now, plus they can mix and match them so every Alien hits differently.
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Fashion – Co-opted hats used to make it easy for us to tell our Alien enemies apart from one another, sure. But with all their time on Earth, they’ve somehow managed to imbue stats onto their fashionable headpieces. Each hat has a different effect even if it looks the same as another, so if an Alien is flying at you and lookin’ fresh, watch out.
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Mutations – When we say the Aliens have evolved, we really mean it. They can now shift and mutate, stealing life from our Agents, breaking the sound barrier with super speed, or even taking to the skies to fly. These mutated Aliens provide a whole new level of threat to us.

Chaos – The Hominid’s attack patterns are like nothing we’ve ever seen before. They used to move in a straight and uniform line, moving from point A to B with one goal in mind. Now they tear through city blocks every this way and that, causing absolute destruction in any chosen path. Once they select an area to attack, there’s no saying which way they’ll go — the only sure thing is that they’ll go anywhere.  They can even go LEFT at will!
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Squads – In years prior, our teams would only have to face one or two Aliens at a time. Now, they arrive in packs of up to 4 Aliens. They work together like a well oiled space machine, riding on each other’s backs in intimidating stacks, and teaming up to get extra height, speed, and dodging capabilities. The Alien stacks also provide new vantage points for them which work to counter our jetpacking Agents.

14 years has granted a lot of change to these little guys… if we want to keep up, we’ll have to fight back with the firepower to match. I bet they can’t wait to find out what changes 14 years brought to us.