w̷͚̒͆̅̔h̵̓͘͜ě̶͍̿͆ṟ̷̯̦̆̉̒ê̷͕̥͈͚͋̐̂ ̴̢̯̦̦̐̈́̈́t̸̤̆ơ̴̡̼̞͠ ̵̟̭̙̽̀̃ẅ̶̡́͊̓a̸̦̗̮̕ţ̵̱̒̾̒͛c̸̱̩͖̞͑͌͑ḩ̸͚̪̉̿̕ͅ ̵̪̟͌̽͆R̸̨̆̎ù̵̬ḑ̶̳̼̩̈́͆̊̕ō̴̧̬͈͠l̴̝̖̖̄͝p̵̯͍͋h̸̙̒͜
h̷̨̋ọ̴̈w̵̧̋ ̸̤̋t̵̛̺o̴̞͛ ̷͚͂w̷͎͝r̷̲̋ä̷͇́p̶̧͂ ̵̮̈́ạ̸̛n̵̲̐ ̸̫̀i̵̞͑c̴̓͜ë̶̝ ̶̹̊c̵̛̟r̵͍͆e̶̩͋à̶̢m̴͖̆ ̶͉͑c̷̠̾ő̶͍ń̸̪ẻ̷̥
p̸̹̽ṟ̶͋e̷̫͂t̴̗̍t̴͕̿ÿ̶͎́ ̵̛͇C̵͍͋h̵̰̃r̴̰̎i̴͓͛s̶̓͜ţ̵̛m̸̱̌a̷̦͠s̶̻̒ ̸̱̀ḻ̴͋i̵͚͋g̸̘̈́ḥ̷̿t̴͖͘ŝ̸̫
w̵̰̋h̶͙͊e̸̝̒r̸̩̂e̵̦͠ ̷̯̑i̵̦̓s̶̞̈́ ̷̢͑S̷̞̈́a̷̢͐n̴͕̊ţ̷͋ǎ̷̖ ̵̓͜r̴̤̉i̵̢͋g̷̟͛ḧ̶͖́ṭ̵̎ ̶̯̈n̵͓͑o̴̬̍w̸̻̍
These are just some of the searches we found when our mainframe was invaded by aliens. It seems that they’re all in the holiday spirit and trying to make the most of it. So, aliens, if you’re reading this, please do not gift-wrap ice cream cones. Just bring them straight back to the Mothership and get your sugar rush wiggles out while you’re there.
Unexpectedly, we suffered some sort of extraterrestrial breach Thursday, 14th of December, 2022. Everything is fine now – there is no immediate cause for concern. The only discernible difference we discovered was the previously mentioned search history (although when you consider thousands of aliens invading, it was much more abundant than those six searches), and one other curious thing…
The aliens left us a holiday surprise? It looks like some sort of calendar. We’re currently trying to work up the courage to open the first day. We’ll keep our eyes on it, think about it overnight, and report back tomorrow around noon. If only we could tune out that weird humming that keeps coming from it…
We’ll be updating our socials with daily findings in case the aliens invade our website domain again. If they come back, maybe we can keep them sated with some mutation juice and cookies.