Greetings, carbon-based lifeforms! On Thursday, July 12th at 2:00 PM PT, join us for a live Alien Hominid Invasion developer update, broadcasted to Twitch, YouTube and select smart refrigerators across your tiny mostly water globe.
We have in our possession some exciting new technologies to share with your underdeveloped observation balls. We’ll be feasting on new agents, delicious weapons, mouthwatering mutations, and some heavenly HUD and hazard elements. In space, we don’t chef’s kiss. We blow up a star and beam it into a blackhole. It’s quite beautiful.
This demonstration of our power will be presented by our 1st favorite human, Dan Paladin. All hail great creator!
So sleep well, check your faxes, or cryo sleep till then!